TRIGGER WARNING: A toxic and abusive relationship will be mentioned. Sometimes in a humoristic way. Abuse is in no way a joking matter but I cope with stuff by making jokes, so if you’re triggered by that please don’t read anymore.
If you don’t want to read the backstory scroll down to the quote.
This is a story that I haven’t told anyone, so you guys should feel honored to be the first people that get’s to know about my humiliation.
If you’ve never been in an abusive relationship before you might not know this, but it is lika a humiliation ritual. You know when celebrities have to do these really humiliating stuff to seal the deal and become world known. But without the getting famous part. I basically went through so many different kinds of humiliation that sometimes I just lost all common sense. This is one of those times. It all started like this:
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One night I’m laying in my bed, I watched a new anime called angels of death and I was content with life. My boyfriend was at home, probably, I guess. He was going to call me in twenty minutes. I looked at the show and time seemed to fly, thirty minutes came and went and still no call.
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That’s weird, I thought. I mean he usually stood me up, but never without telling me a story about how his grandma broke a leg and needed to get a ride. Or his sister needed a ride to buy some milk at two in the morning. Or his horses had gotten out and everyone but him was asleep so he had to find them all.
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Don’t ask me how, but at some point these excuses really sounded real to me. The denial was denialing for real. Anyways back to the story.
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Suddenly I get a message on instagram. The person wasn’t one of my followers so I clicked on the “new request” button and my stomach instantly went to the ground. I felt like I had swallowed a rock. The first thing I see is “hey girl…”.
And we all know where this is going.
The message went something like this:
“Hey girl… are you dating …? Because I have him added on snapchat and he has been sending me d’ck pics. I just thought you should know, you are so beautiful and you deserve better.”
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I panicked, my heart was beating out of my chest. But i tried to think logically. I instantly sent him a screen shot of the conversation. He responded within a minute.
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“She’s crazy, I promise I haven’t written to her in years. I don’t know why she would set me up like that.”
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Of corse I don’t believe him. He starts begging me.
“Please just delete the messages, I love you. She just wants to ruin what we have. Look I sent you a screenshot asking her why she would make up a lie like that.”
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I see this flipping message on his phone and he has just written “that’s not cool, why would you tell my girl”. So this really sets off my alarm bells.
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I write to this poor girl, begging her to be honest and not to lie to me. Mean while she’s probably sitting there looking at her phone like:
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After I interrogated the poor girl she tells me that she’s going to send me a screenshot and show me that he had snaped her. And of course everything she told me was true. Because why the flip would she lie to me in the first place?!
So I confront him, he breaks down and eventually I ended up forgiving him. This is something I would never do as a woman but as a teenager he had me wrapped around his finger, and I got to eat it up because that wasn’t the last “hey girl” message I got while being in that relationship. So if you see this and are in this situation please just remember that the times you know about is just the times that they got caught.
Anyways believe it or not that wasn’t even the humiliating part of the story, not even when I took him back, even though drying the tears someone cried because they cheated on you was pretty humiliating. And even when karma bited him in the ass the same day I ignored the signs to leave.
But how the universe tried to tell me that is a story for another day.
“Lesson number one: denial can make karma seem undeserved, even though it is the universe’s way of trying to give you revenge.”
This next part happened about two weeks after he cheated on me for the first time.
I was laying down in my bed looking at youtube when I got this weird feeling in my stomach. The cheating had opened up my intuition. It had cracked my love painted version of him and the real person was starting so slip through the cracks. I knew that he was hiding more woman, but I felt like I needed proof to be able to leave.
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I picked up my phone and scrolled on tiktok. I saw this girl that’s talking about how she caught her man cheating through her fake account. She had a fake account that she wrote to her man from and then she asked him to meet up. When her man showed up she was there waiting with the conversation in her hand.
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I saw that and the wheals started to turn in my head, I wanted to humiliate him like he had humiliated me. Little did I know that I was the one that was going to be humiliated once again. Like I said, a humiliation ritual without the fame.
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Anyways, the logical thing would be to create an Instagram account and try to make it look real. But instead I choose to create a whole as facebook account. To do this I also had to create a new email, so that’s the story about the mail that I’m using here.
I decided to create an account that was built like this:
Age:19 (his age at the time).
From: New York
Work: KFC
Name: Vanessa
And so on, for some reason I decided to add over 100 people all from india on my account. I also changed the profile picture to his favorite anime character, because I was scared that someone would go to the police if I used their face to catfish, this was before AI was a thing. I wrote a bio describing his dream girl, in detail.
I didn’t waste a second, I added him and wrote the second he accepted my friend request. The message went something like “hey, you’re so cute! How are you?”
Mind you, he didn’t have a picture of his face on facebook.
Within the minute of pressing send I get a call, my heart is hammering in my chest. I answer it and it’s him. He’s laughing his ass of, he knew that it was me.
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But for real this time I kind of deserved to be humiliated, what was I thinking. It even said on the front page of my facebook account that it was made the same day as the message was sent. All of my friends on the account were from India. I only had a picture of his favorite anime girl as a profile picture. And he was the only one from our country that I added.
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I really hope that I will get famous later on otherwise I have really gone through all of this humiliation for free lmaoo. If I ever get famous I should at least be able to check the humiliation part of beforehand so I don’t have to do it again.
// Little raccoon
Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences. What’s the craziest thing you have done to save a relationship?
Thank you for reading, I hope to see you next time!
The raccoons diary 
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